Dear Sophia,

I saw you last night on ABC’s “The Outsiders,” and I just had to offer some help. You seem hurt and confused, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I have seen this happen so many times since first getting into the adult world a decade ago. There’s a reason for the following comment from the news story :

“Would I want to be a young woman getting into the adult right now? Perfectly honestly, no,” said porn legend Taylor Wane.

When she got into the business in 1989, Wane said it was more about women exploring their sexuality. Nowadays, she said, it’s about pushing the envelope to extremes.

Well, I don’t think the pressure towards extremes is new. What’s new is the skyrocketing number of women willing to do increasingly naughty things for pathetic amounts of money. Women are abused in every industry (unless you men out there feel like working for 70% of the fair market value of your work, don’t even try to argue this point). But as your personal story tells, the porn industry inflicts a particularly painful blow to the lives of many young women who long for the fame and fantasy life they are promised when they agree to step in front of the camera. Now that you see the pressures you will face as a starlet, and how difficult it can be to maintain your self-esteem if you want to expand your earnings, it’s no surprise that you decided to “leave the industry.” Even though you’ve quickly risen to the top and become a contract girl, you were miserable and felt abused. In your interview you seemed quite hopeless and unclear what you should do now, admitting that “there’s no guarantee I can stay out” of the adult biz.

Here’s my advice to you: the answer is not getting out or getting God, it is getting in on the other side of the biz, girl. You can’t undo what you’ve done, and everyone knows, now that you were on TV telling the world. Your best option (and frankly, the best option for someone wanting to break into adult) is to become an adult webmaster, and profit from the incredible amount of money being spent on porn–on your own terms.You have fans out there and they will buy stuff from you. All you have to do is visit partners.gamelink.com and sign up as an affiliate. It is free to sign up. All you need is an email address. Start a blog just like this one, and write about any aspect of the industry that you feel passionate about, or just keep on top of hot new trends and deep link to products that have all the buzz, like the hot new Kim Kardashian sex tape . In an afternoon, and with no investment, you can be selling your
own videos and those you like, or dildos you used in the films. You can even get your fans to buy lingerie for you to wear by listing your favorite apparel from our store and getting a PO Box for your fans to send it to you.

In sharp contrast to the limits for the vast majority of porn stars, and the increasing pressures to change your limits, the sky is truly the only limit when you are an adult webmaster. I noticed you have a college education and a daughter. Adult affiliate marketing is a great option for intelligent work-at-home-moms who want to have more time with their kids and who want profits that will pay more than just next month’s car payment. You can benefit from the branding you have done around your star name and attract a community of fans that you own and control. As you improve your skills you will see the profits increase steadily and sustainably, while your self-esteem is left in-tact. And you position yourself to market other non-adult affiliate programs, get a job in affiliate marketing someday if you ever want to go that route, or become a consultant in this field.

By the way, to all you guys out there looking to exploit the next girl with exhibitionist fantasies …I am not against you. You are just doing your thing in the way it has always been done. But be kind to the talent, and kindness will return to you in some way. I have met many honorable guys in this scene, so all I ask is that you be one of them. If you see one of the girls start to feel like Sophia does, offer to help her get in as a webmaster. She could help you with your biz as an assistant or become a partner in your success. Kindness to yourself and others is the key to success in any industry.